We received a great question the other day:
Great question! You are on the right track - it is so much easier to make the decisions you need to make before death. And, the best way to make sure your relatives' cremation wishes come true is by putting their wishes into writing. Towards this, you can enlist the help of a funeral professional, or you can do this yourself.
It does help to work with funeral professionals, as they can visit with you to assess your wishes. And, they can talk about the best way towards making your relatives' wishes a reality and properly set up prearranged cremation plans.
Towards this, Gill Brothers Funeral Directors can help you - just contact us. Be sure to ask about our inflation-proof guarantee.
If you would rather take steps on your own, the best place to start is to put their wishes into writing. Before documenting their wishes, you might want to consider the following:
Do they have someone they trust that they can specify as an agent that will carry out their wishes?
Do they want a service? A cremation does not negate a funeral. They can decide if they want a funeral service before the cremation, or if they would rather have a memorial service after the cremation. They can also decide on the location of the funeral or memorial service: perhaps a favorite church, funeral home, nature area or mausoleum.
What should be done with the ashes? There have been many stories of people fighting over who can receive the ashes. In fact, the division of the ashes of Kirby Pucket, our Minnesota Twins baseball star, was hotly contested by his children and his financee. And, there was another recent story about a couple arguing about whether to split their son's ashes or not. Writing down their cremation wishes will avoid issues like these.
Do they want the ashes scattered? If so, where - do they have a favorite spot? Before specifying this spot, be sure that you are allowed to scatter ashes on the spot - see the our Minnesota Cremation page on scattering ashes for answers to the questions we have received about scattering ashes.
Would they rather have their ashes buried? If so - where?
Be aware that many religions have strong beliefs about cremation. For example, although the Catholic church now allows cremation, they strongly recommend that the cremation ashes not be given to a survivor(s), nor should the ashes be spread. Rather, they encourage you to bury the ashes. So, be sure that you review their religious beliefs before documenting their cremation needs.
To document their cremation needs, a good starting document can be found at http://www.lexisnexis.com/legalnewsroom/estate-elder/b/estate-elder-blog/archive/2012/09/20/model-will-provisions-pertaining-to-cremation.aspx Like all legal documents, be sure you run this by an expert before you finalize a document like this.
As you are documenting their cremation wishes, it would also be a good time to create/update a Minnesota Health Care Directive for them You can find one at: http://www.cehd.umn.edu/fsos/projects/pdf/HCDprint2012.pdf. This is about their ever-important health care wishes - but it also includes the ability to specify an agent for carrying out their funeral wishes.
Lakewood Cemetery Chapel, located with the cemetery at Lakewood Cemetery, Minneapolis MN is available at no cost for those people who have their cremated or casketed remains interred at the cemetery. There also is no charge when Lakewood Cemetery performs the actual cremation process. Some Cemeteries, including Lakewood , operate a licenced crematory in the lower level of the Lakewood Cemetery Chapel. A licensed funeral home, such as Gill Brothers Funeral and Cremation Services, has to arrange the cremation service even if the cremation is preformed at Lakewood Cemetery, Minneapolis, MN according to Daniel McGraw of Gill Brothers Funeral and Cremation Services.
According to Sandra Stone, a Minnesota licensed attorney practicing in the areas of wills, trusts and probate at the law firm of StoneLAW, PLLC, “ It is always best to talk about your health care and final needs with your family so that they know firsthand your wishes. In addition, I always draft a Health Care Directive at no extra charge as part of an estate plan and include a section on burial or cremation instructions and any further information such as location of a final resting place. This allows family members to have a legal document stating your desires so that they can carry out your final wishes at the appropriate time.”
It also is a good idea to pre-plan/pre-arrange your wishes with a funeral home or a cremation society as well according to Daniel McGraw from Gill Brothers Funeral and Cremation Services.
The best thing to do is contact Ron Gjerde at Lakewood Cemetery Association located in Minneapolis, MN. (email@example.com) Ron is the president of the Minnesota Cemetery Association and will be able to direct you in the proper direction if there were any inappropriate actions taken by the cemetery.
"Determination of right to control and duty of disposition. The right to control the dead human body, including the location and conditions of final disposition, unless other directions have been given by the decedent pursuant to subdivision 1, vests in, and the duty of final disposition of the body devolves upon, the following in the order of priority listed:
Before making a decision regarding whole body donation, we suggest you read the information on the Bequest Home page and the Frequently Asked Questions section. If you have any questions or concerns, please call us for clarification before proceeding. We also suggest you talk it over with your family and/or interested others before making your bequest.
Obtain an Anatomy Bequest Donation Form. Forms can be mailed to you or downloaded and printed from this page.
The first form is for an individual wishing to donate his/her own body to the bequest program. For the online form, clink here:
The second form is for donating the body of a family member. For the online form, click here:
You can ask us to mail you a form by:
Make sure the Anatomy Bequest Program Donation Form is completed, signed and witnessed by two people. The signatures do not have to be notarized. Please return the original form to the following address:
Anatomy Bequest Program
University of Minnesota
3-005 Nils Hasselmo Hall
312 Church Street SE
Minneapolis, MN 55455-0215
If you also have an Advance Health Care Directive, please enclose a copy with your bequest form.
The original bequest form must be on file at the University of Minnesota at the time of death. Upon receipt of the completed original form, the Anatomy Bequest Program will send you a letter of acknowledgement and a donor wallet card
We suggest that you make copies of your bequest form and give them to persons who would be notified at the time of your death. It is important that your physician, your family and your friends know of your bequest so they can make sure your wishes are carried out.
If you wish to cancel your bequest, please call us at the number below and tell us you wish to cancel. We will mail your original bequest authorization form to you, and you will no longer be a whole body donor. Your bequest authorization is not binding in nature and may be rescinded at any time. Be sure to inform your physician, your family and your friends of your decision not to be a donor.
If you have additional questions or concerns, please contact the Anatomy Bequest Program:
There contines to be confustion about who can provide cremation services, as this question shows.
The answer is that you do NOT need a Minnesota cremation society to obtain cremation services. In fact, any licensed funeral home in the state of Minnesota will help arrange for and provide cremation services according to Daniel McGraw from Gill Brothers Funeral Home.
You can see a complete list of all the Minneapolis and St. Paul Metro area funeral homes at the The Minnesota Funeral Plan.
This is up to each individual cemetery. Each cemetery that is licensed in the state has its own rules and regulations. The cemetery owners/board of directors would make the decision for their own cemetery.
Outside of calling each individual funeral home and checking with the local news papers obituary or death notices section, there is no quick way to find out what where a service is being held. Many funeral homes also post obituaries on their website, such as Gill Brothers Funeral and Cremation Services. (www.gillbrothers.com)